Solomon’s Song of Songs 5:2 – 6:3

Scripture Text:

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Song of Songs 5:2 – 6:3

1. (If married) How long did your honeymoon last: 7 days? 7 weeks? 7 years? How did you know that your honeymoon had ended and new realities had set in? Who do you know who seems to have enjoyed a perpetual honeymoon?

2. (Men) If your wife described you like Solomon’s wife did in chapter 5:10 – 16, how would you respond?

  • I would blush
  • I would feel honored
  • I would faint
  • I would expect it
  • I would wonder what she wants

3. The next significant event is either a dream or reality. In chapter 5:2 -8, what support can you find for each view?

4. How do you account for the wife not rushing to the door at her lover’s knock (chapter 5:2 – 3)? Playful? Sleepy? Lethargic?

5. In either event, how does her lover respond (verse 6)?

  • hurt by the rebuff
  • playing hide and seek
  • realizes sex on demand was wrong
  • respects the principle that love (even with one’s wife) should not be roused until it pleases

6. What impact do you suppose her run-away lover and run-in with “police” (verses 6 – 8) had on her?

  • roused her from a nightmare
  • brought her back to her senses
  • made her heart grow fonder

7. What is the spirit behind the friends’ first question (verse 9)?

  • to replace her apathy with gratitude
  • to coax him out of his wounded ego or pouting
  • to calm their fear of love and the agony of parting

8. How much does he evidently mean to her, after all (verses 10 -16)? What strikes you about her sensuous desire for her “lover and friend”?

9. How do you react to a woman calling Solomon “outstanding among ten thousand” (verse 10) and him calling her “my perfect one” (chapter 6:9)?

  • they haven’t been married long
  • they had ulterior motives
  • they looked at each other through eyes of love
  • they wanted their partner to feel good about himself/herself

10. If the friends’ first question prepares her attitude, to what does the second question lead (chapter 6:1 – 3)? What paves the way for reunion with her beloved?

  • a place to talk privately
  • a sense of mutual belonging
  • a time to make love after making up

11. What point does the statement, “I am my lover’s and my lover is mine; he browses among the lilies” (chapter 6:3) illustrate about sex?

  • mutuality – a mutually shared and enjoyed experience
  • exclusiveness – giving ourselves solely to one another
  • uninhibited – giving ourselves to each other freely
  • intimacy – knowing my mate fully
  • security – in each other’s love

12. Why is friendship an important part of a healthy sexual relationship? 

13. What person would you describe as both your lover and your friend? Are you your mate’s best friend? Was your love first based in friendship, or did friendship really develop only after the fires of passion settled down?

14. How are you ensuring that neither friendship nor love-making will be neglected in the future? What is the next date on the calendar for just the two of you?

15. What do you think causes adultery?

  • it happens on an impulse
  • it happens to weak marriages
  • the guilty spouse is sexually unfulfilled
  • our society encourages it
  • our sin nature encourages it
  • other: ___________________

16. How are you guarding against marital unfaithfulness?

17. With your beloved (as with the two in this story), what keeps your love alive?

  • playful teasing
  • dreaming together
  • times apart
  • caring friends
  • private reunion times

18. What would a reminder list of his or her attributes do for your relationship? What three things about your mate do you most appreciate? Write them down and exchange lists.

19. (If studying as a couple) Individually, rank in order the following needs. Compare lists. Which needs are the top five on your list? Your mate’s list?

admiration           affection        honesty and trust               family commitment

physical attractiveness            open conversation            domestic support

financial security             recreational companionship           sexual fulfillment

20. In reference to Question #19, how can you better meet each other’s needs to celebrate what God has given you and to strengthen your relationship?

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Solomon’s Song of Songs 4:1 – 5:1

Scripture Text:

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Song of Songs 4:1 – 5:1

1. Where did you go on your honeymoon? (Or, where would you like to go?) Why there?

2. Assuming this section refers to the couple’s wedding night, what is memorable about it? What do you make of these compliments? Do you ever compliment someone you adore? How does your beloved react?

3. The husband praises seven different aspects of his wife’s beauty. What makes her beauty and personality flawless to him? In the long run, what will bring out all the wife’s beauty: praise or criticism? Why?

4. What effect does his intimate foreplay here have on his wife? How does she reciprocate (verses 10, 11, 16)?

5. How does the king deal with her fears about marriage and thoughts of home (verse 8)? What role does such reassurance and foreplay serve in the love-making which follows?

6. How is the extended metaphor of the garden used here? Where do you see restraint and freedom expressed?

7. What choral benediction is given this married couple (chapter 5 verse 1c), as if from God? What is the meaning here for those who question the beauty, playfulness and joy of sex?

8. If God’s view of sex in marriage is conveyed here, then why do so many couples experience nothing like it? What does this Song have to say to a divorced person? To the macho man? To prudish women?

9. If single: How might a beautiful courtship (like the one here) better equip you for marriage? What about God’s wonderful creation (you) and your (hoped for) courtship can you give thanks for (or pray for)?

10. If married: Using the garden metaphor as it applies to love-making, what are you now growing: nothing? weeds? perennials? annuals? a new garden?

11. Reflecting on the winds of change since your wedding day, what is now blowing your way: a cold northerly or warm southerly wind? breezy or gusty? clearing up or clouding over? Why?

12. Applying this lovers’ poem allegorically to Christ and the church, what might this story say about the second coming and the great wedding feast that will be?

13. How does Christ’s royal love for the church inspire your devotion and self-surrender? If your “garden” is barren, how can the chief Gardener restore it?

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Solomon’s Song of Songs 3:6 – 11

Scripture Text:

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Song of Songs 3:6 – 11

Ice Breaker Questions:

1. (If married) On your wedding day, what was the most unconventional thing you did? The funniest thing that happened? What was your gift to each other? Share a “snapshot” of the wedding party.

2. What made your heart skip a beat on your wedding day? On your honeymoon? Is it important to rekindle that kind of spark? Why?

3. (If single or single again) What do you hope to experience on your wedding day?

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Questions About the Text:

4. Assuming the last part of chapter 3 refers to their wedding day, how do you think Solomon’s bride felt as she saw the wedding party approaching?

5. In this wedding snapshot (verses 6 – 11), where is the focus: (a) on the bridal procession? (b) the king’s wedding crown? (c) the royal wedding? Why do you think so?

6. Note the number and purpose of the groomsmen. If the groom wanted to back out now, how could he?

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Personal (Application) Questions:

7. When you were first married, how would you compare your relationship to the couple’s in Song of Songs?

  • Ours was every bit as romantic as this couple’s.
  • We had some of the same feelings, but didn’t know how to put them into words.
  • Our relationship was much more subdued.
  • Our relationship is still this way.

8. Like the couple in this story, what keeps your love alive?

  • playful teasing
  • dreaming together
  • times apart
  • having caring friends
  • private rendezvous

9. What factors enter into an engaged couple’s decision about how BIG to make their wedding? What was (or would be) the determining factor in your case?

10. What are some ways you have discovered to create “marriage time” (apart from “family time”)?

11. What positive steps can you take to insure time and privacy to nurture your love life?

  • establish a day or a weekend alone every __________________
  • go on a “date” every ____________________
  • experience some creative romance by __________________
  • plan a trip just for us to ________________

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