Amnon Rapes Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1 – 22)

Scripture Text:

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2 Samuel 13:1 – 22


1. Whom did you consult regarding your “love life” while in high school? What was some of their worst advice? Their best advice?

2. From what you know of “blended families” (with step-children), what complicated love-hate relationships could occur? How are blood ties thicker than anything else that binds the family?

3. In what ways have you been impacted by sexual sins in the past (your past or another’s)? How have you managed to control the damage? To forgive the sinner? To be forgiven?

4. Who have you ended up “hating” that you started “loving? Why the sudden and total reversal in the relationship? How can you be more reconciled with your past and with this person?

5. As a parent (or a potential parent), how do you evaluate your present example for the future generation: one that promotes “loose living” or one that deters it? How do you identify with “David the dad” in this passage?

6. What was Jonadab’s advice?

  • enjoy breakfast in bed
  • deceive your father
  • deceive your half-sister
  • force yourself on Tamar
  • a prince should get whatever he wants

7. Why did Amnon force himself on Tamar?

  • he was a jerk
  • he was taking a dare
  • he liked challenges
  • Moses’ Law prohibited having sex with or marrying his sister

8. What did Tamar appeal to in attempting to resist Amnon?

  • his sense of morality
  • his sense of honor
  • common sense
  • his self-interest as heir to the throne
  • her certain disgrace

9. How do you explain Amnon’s reversal from “love” to “hate”?

  • he was sick
  • he only loved himself
  • he never understood real love
  • he got what he wanted
  • he hated Tamar because he hated himself
  • his experience didn’t live up to his fantasies
  • one sin leads to another
  • Other: ________________

10. Why didn’t David do something about what happened?

  • he was too angry
  • he didn’t know what to do
  • he figured “boys will be boys”
  • he was a weak disciplinarian
  • he would feel like a hypocrite because of his own moral failures

11. The worst thing that happened to Tamar was that she was:

  • raped
  • violated by someone she loved
  • kicked out by her abuser
  • unprotected by her father
  • relegated to a life of celibacy
  • left with the shame of being “spoiled goods”

12. Though you won’t find the word “God” in this story, do you think God abandoned Tamar? How do you hold on to your faith in light of the terrible things that happen to innocent people?

13. What’s the closest you have come to the kind of despairing experience Tamar suffered? How fully is that situation resolved in your life?

14. How does this story remind you of your own experience of abuse? What do you feel was probably the worst thing about what happened to you?

15. Tamar grieved intensely after she was abused. Do you feel you have adequately expressed your emotions?



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