Scripture Text:(click to open in a new window)
Ice Breaker Questions:
1. With what time of year and time of your life do you associate romantic love? Why then?
2. Which do you value most in a romantic relationship?
- flowers (or other gifts)
- special dates
- verbal affection
- physical affection
- quality time together
- thoughtful acts of service
- open communication
3. Describe the when, the where and the voice of that first heart-throb (perhaps one from grade school or high school). Why do you suppose those memories linger?
4. (If married) What did mom or dad say on the eve of your wedding to calm your fears?
Questions About the Text:
5. How does the bride react when she and her lover are apart?
- unable to sleep
6. What season is it now (chapter 2:11, 12)? What effect has their “winter past” had on the flowering of their love? Like the changing seasons, how do they appear transformed?
7. As their relationship grows, how do they protect and preserve their love from anything that might ruin it (chapter 2 verse 15)? How does she express the mutuality of their love (verses 16, 17)? How does their mutuality strike you: possessive? lustful? stifling? freeing? enviable?
8. As she dreams of her lover, what hopes and fears are aroused (chapter 3:1 – 5)? Why is she afraid of losing her lover?
9. What does today’s passage say about true married love?
10. Why can’t her love wait for fulfillment? Where does she go for security once she finds and hugs her man again?
11. Why must love wait as a flower to blossom in season?
12. What do you think the woman meant when she said, “Daughters of Jerusalem . . . Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (chapter 3:5)?
- Love and desire go together.
- Don’t try to make love happen – be patient until you know it’s right.
- Don’t put yourself in a compromising position.
- Keep yourself pure until married.
- other: _______________
13. How are sexual desire and self-restraint both healthy and beneficial to a married couple growing in love?
- lack of desire kills romance
- abstinence makes the heart grow fonder
- occasional self-restraint heightens sexual desire and satisfaction
- self-control for your spouse’s sake is an important part of sexuality
- I don’t see that self-restraint is in any way beneficial
Personal (Application) Questions:
14. The king and his bride obviously felt attractive to each other. (A) Which of the following does your spouse do most? (B) Which of the following actions would you like your spouse to do more often?
- tells me how nice I look
- tells me with his/her eyes how nice I look
- brings me romantic gifts
- brags about me to others
- displays affection for me
- writes me love letters, notes and cards
15. This couple was in the springtime of their love relationship. Where are you in your relationship with Christ?
- where have all the flowers gone?
- everything is coming up roses
- I need to stop and smell the roses
- I’m trying to force open the buds
- other: ___________________
16. What would you say is your mate’s most attractive physical feature?
17. What would you say is your mate’s most attractive personality trait?
18. What do you need in your love life now: more space? more time? more sizzle? more sharing? fewer foxes?
19. How would you characterize you and your spouse’s communication about sex?
- what communication?
- we would rather do it than talk about it
- we talk when there is a problem
- communicating about sex is an important part of our sex life
20. This couple was aware of the “little foxes” (chapter 2:15) that can ruin love. What problems do couples face today when it comes to sexual intimacy?
- overly busy
- puritanical views and inhibitions
- bad experiences in the past
- false expectations
- physical problems
- difficulty talking about sex
- too much stress, too little energy
21. How can you help younger friends (and yourself) not to arouse or waken love until it is time?
22. What aspect of your courting days do you still carry forward? Why is it important to rekindle the fire of that first love? What new realities must set in to deepen that first love and keep it forever alive?
23. How do you handle times of separation from your spouse’s Do you agree with the saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”?
24. Fiery passions are hard to maintain. Even our passion for Christ can dwindle over time. What does today’s passage suggest to you, allegorically, about rekindling that fellowship? Does absence from Christ make your heart grow fonder or colder? Why?