Scripture Text:(click to open in a new window)
1. (If married) How long did your honeymoon last: 7 days? 7 weeks? 7 years? How did you know that your honeymoon had ended and new realities had set in? Who do you know who seems to have enjoyed a perpetual honeymoon?
2. (Men) If your wife described you like Solomon’s wife did in chapter 5:10 – 16, how would you respond?
- I would blush
- I would feel honored
- I would faint
- I would expect it
- I would wonder what she wants
3. The next significant event is either a dream or reality. In chapter 5:2 -8, what support can you find for each view?
4. How do you account for the wife not rushing to the door at her lover’s knock (chapter 5:2 – 3)? Playful? Sleepy? Lethargic?
5. In either event, how does her lover respond (verse 6)?
- hurt by the rebuff
- playing hide and seek
- realizes sex on demand was wrong
- respects the principle that love (even with one’s wife) should not be roused until it pleases
6. What impact do you suppose her run-away lover and run-in with “police” (verses 6 – 8) had on her?
- roused her from a nightmare
- brought her back to her senses
- made her heart grow fonder
7. What is the spirit behind the friends’ first question (verse 9)?
- to replace her apathy with gratitude
- to coax him out of his wounded ego or pouting
- to calm their fear of love and the agony of parting
8. How much does he evidently mean to her, after all (verses 10 -16)? What strikes you about her sensuous desire for her “lover and friend”?
9. How do you react to a woman calling Solomon “outstanding among ten thousand” (verse 10) and him calling her “my perfect one” (chapter 6:9)?
- they haven’t been married long
- they had ulterior motives
- they looked at each other through eyes of love
- they wanted their partner to feel good about himself/herself
10. If the friends’ first question prepares her attitude, to what does the second question lead (chapter 6:1 – 3)? What paves the way for reunion with her beloved?
- a place to talk privately
- a sense of mutual belonging
- a time to make love after making up
11. What point does the statement, “I am my lover’s and my lover is mine; he browses among the lilies” (chapter 6:3) illustrate about sex?
- mutuality – a mutually shared and enjoyed experience
- exclusiveness – giving ourselves solely to one another
- uninhibited – giving ourselves to each other freely
- intimacy – knowing my mate fully
- security – in each other’s love
12. Why is friendship an important part of a healthy sexual relationship?
13. What person would you describe as both your lover and your friend? Are you your mate’s best friend? Was your love first based in friendship, or did friendship really develop only after the fires of passion settled down?
14. How are you ensuring that neither friendship nor love-making will be neglected in the future? What is the next date on the calendar for just the two of you?
15. What do you think causes adultery?
- it happens on an impulse
- it happens to weak marriages
- the guilty spouse is sexually unfulfilled
- our society encourages it
- our sin nature encourages it
- other: ___________________
16. How are you guarding against marital unfaithfulness?
17. With your beloved (as with the two in this story), what keeps your love alive?
- playful teasing
- dreaming together
- times apart
- caring friends
- private reunion times
18. What would a reminder list of his or her attributes do for your relationship? What three things about your mate do you most appreciate? Write them down and exchange lists.
19. (If studying as a couple) Individually, rank in order the following needs. Compare lists. Which needs are the top five on your list? Your mate’s list?
admiration affection honesty and trust family commitment
physical attractiveness open conversation domestic support
financial security recreational companionship sexual fulfillment
20. In reference to Question #19, how can you better meet each other’s needs to celebrate what God has given you and to strengthen your relationship?